Why Is It So Hard For Me to Trust God?

There was a time I thought Jesus was simply warning about money - don't be greedy, give more, be responsible. But when I slowed down and really read Matthew 6:22-24, I realized that He was speaking to something much deeper: my heart and what it's truly devoted to.

Jesus says the "eye is the lamp of the body."

At first, that confused me. But in biblical language, a "good eye" meant generosity, while a "bad eye" meant being stingy or self-focused.

That stopped me.

Because this isn't just about money - it's about how I see everything. What I focus on. What I trust.

What I focus on shapes who I become.

And if I'm honest, there have been moments in my life where money felt more than a tool. It felt like security. Like control. Like something I could depend on when everything else felt uncertain.

I have hesitated to give when I felt God nudging me, because I didn't know if I'd have enough. I have chosen what felt financially safe over what I felt spiritually led to do.

But that's where this truth challenged me:

Anything—even something good—can become a master when it replaces God as my source, security, and guide.

Because...

it demands control while God calls for trust.

Jesus says we can't serve both God and money. Not because money is evil - but because both ask for something only one can have: our trust.

God asks us to trust

Him fully, to live open-handed, to seek Him first, to believe He will provide.

And money?

Money tells us to hold on tighter, to rely on ourselves, to make sure we're "safe."

Those two voices don't sound the same. An they don't lead to the same kind of life.

This made me stop and ask myself some hard but necessary questions:

What am I really trusting in?

What makes me feel secure?

What am I afraid to let go?

Because whatever I run to for peace...whatever I depend on the most...that's what I'm serving.

I'm still learning.

Still surrendering.

I am still working through this. This is what learning looks like - to trust God in a real way, every day...not just in words, but also in decisions.

But I know this much:

I don't want anything - especially money - sitting in a place in my heart that was meant for God.

Inform. Inspire. Transform.

It starts with what we see...and who we trust.